“You can do anything you put your mind to.” From the beginning of my life, this mantra was spoken to me by my mother. My mother was my greatest cheerleader, friend, and helper until…fourth grade. While attending L.O. Kimberly in Atlanta, Georgia, I met Stacy Gilbert. From that point forward, being in a relationship with the opposite sex was how I defined my value. The looks she had, the attention she drew, and the amount of others who wanted her caused me to feel good when I got her.
“Man that’s a lot of money.”
“Sean, if you don’t change the way you think about money it’s going to lead you down a dark path.”
“Mama, there’s nothing wrong with that money; it pays bills just like your money.”
The above instances led me into a life that revolved around me. In front of family I was respectful and loved school. Behind them I was a womanizing, violent, arrogant individual. These two lives finally met when I was arrested and charged with Capital Murder. When I first was arrested I knew it was an answered prayer. Weeks before my arrest I was preparing to go out to a club. Emotions overtook me as I exited my shower. Falling to my knees, tears and sorrow filled my eyes and mind. As my dog licked my face, a pitch-black darkness engulfed me inside. Suddenly, my mother’s voice filled my head. “Sean, if you ever get into something mama can’t help you out of, call on the Lord and He will help you.” Immediately I said, “God please help me. I’m greedy and I hurt people and I can’t stop on my own.”
During the time in country awaiting trial, I read “Faith to Faith” daily and attended church services weekly, but my thinking was still criminal. Then, on December 31, 1992, my two lives met again. As I entered my cell minutes before January 1, 1993, I dropped to my knees and asked Jesus Christ to come into my life. Immediately my heart was changed. The cruelty and anger were changed to care and compassion. Many other things were not changed right away, but a heart that felt and cared was given to me at that moment.
The months of hearing the Word, reading “Faith to Faith” and a broken heart from losing my fiancée due to my bad choices had led me to Jesus. The darkness that night was God showing me my own heart and the heart He gave me was to love and serve Him and others. Since that moment, God has blessed me to help equip others to serve God through teaching, preaching, mentoring, and modeling His Word. This life has been hard and required many sacrifices, but the relationships with others, and my personal relationship with God have been worth it all. To be and see others be all that God created us for is my purpose and greatest joy.